Millions Could Benefit From Obamas New Immigration Policies

Catholic Communication Bend HYATTSVILLE, MD. - The meeting room in the average of Maryland's record immigrant-dense ZIP code Nov. 20 was full of people who be the problems Proceed Barack Obama is trying to salutation with executive action. A woman at CASA de Maryland's Multicultural Central in Hyattsville, Md., applauds Nov. 20 what time anxiety Proceed Barack Obama's national salutation on immigration. The leader lingering break of deportations to parents of millions of U.S. land and legal state. (CNS photo/Tyler Orsburn) Families with family tree in Mexico, El Salvador and Guatemala - some with U.S. inhabitant offspring, some with one adult junior who has legal fixed assignment (a verdant card), and additional adults who are in the nation without authorization - all watched the big show as Obama announced his diplomacy for allowing perhaps 40 percent of the 11 million people without legal immigration status to be quickly watched over from expulsion. The carton of governmental happenings, explained in exceptional intention since with an Obama expression Nov. 21 in Nevada, includes reprioritizing who the legislature will charge for expulsion, coming off down foremost on shoddy criminals and new arrivals at the border. "We're leaving to keep focusing enforcement resources on unique terrorization to our give an undertaking," Obama understood in his televised salutation from the Listless Situation. "Felons, not families. Criminals, not offspring. Jam members, not a mom who's business hard to carry for her family. We'll prioritize, just like law enforcement does every day." Dissimilar tress will change the approach in compromise visas to extraordinary students in science and technology who want to position in the U.S. what time instigation, according to the Listless Situation. The Evenhandedness Department afterward will change the Invincible Communities program, under which local law enforcement agencies did immigration viewing on behalf of Immigration and Civilization Enforcement, leading to state of affairs like what a senior control endorsed described as a "injured taillight obstacle." In a stuff cellular phone preparation in the past the president's transmit, the endorsed understood, "An obstacle for a injured taillight freely is not leaving to trigger ICE pickup." That's the sort of recipient that Carlos Velasquez understood is so sociable about the president's happenings. Velasquez, attending the Hyattsville performance party with additional members of St. Camillus Church in handy Ancient Fine, where on earth he is active in a put up of ministries, understood he knows heap, heap families who will potentially benefit from the outcropping of belated action to new segments of the similarity. So happy the words tumbled out in a lightheaded tableau of English and Spanish, he understood, "They're leaving to be safe. Convinced people get to be no longer uneasy they will be arrested and deported for just walking down the street or pouring or leaving to work." The simple step of having a Outgoing Defense number will make it sufficient for some of his friends to in due course buy homes, Velasquez understood. They conduct the financial resources and pay excise using an qualifications number from the National Funds Bend, he explained, but scarce a Outgoing Defense number is an general strike to obtaining a give somebody an advance of. Obama's direct reasonably would continue upon the 2-year-old program forward as In the dead of night Effort for Mature Immigrants, or DACA. Guzzle it, exceptional than partly a million young adults and teens who came to the U.S. as minors conduct been promised they won't be deported if they wait out of trouble. In talk into for registering with the legislature, leaving give directions stuff checks and additional requests and paying law, they normal work permits and Outgoing Defense result. More than 600,000 people conduct handy for the program launched in summer 2012. Of that, 27,000 applications were rejected (and can perhaps be resubmitted) and about 16,000 conduct been denied. Others are in many stages of the permission carry out. The new program would consecrate the enormously rummage sale to parents of U.S. land or verdant card holders who conduct lived in into for at smallest five vivacity, a give your word pool of exceptional than 4 million people, according to the Listless Situation. Also the parents-of-citizens program and DACA will now be good for three vivacity, and renewable. The program is owing to be up and set to rights in the spring. The control officials understood they denomination about 270,000 additional people will be competent for DACA under new rules that drop the childhood age interest of under-30 and put your name down message the date by which applicants need to conduct clothed in in the U.S. to 2010 from the native date of 2007. Even though the audience at the offices of CASA de Maryland, a community organizing service, was still in the vicinity of the 15-minute salutation, circulate with fluky Spanish restatement on Telemundo, the moments leading up to the president's expression were complete with opportune chanting and great reception as state of the similarity stood to tell their stories. "Si, se pudo!" they chanted, or "yes, we can," or maybe "yes, he can." That's the taking into consideration tough of the "si, se puede" or "yes, we can," that has long been popular in rallying migrants to many causes. In the middle of fill who were all set to give a standing ovation the president's diplomacy were, Archbishop Joseph E. Kurtz of Louisville, Kentucky, leader of the U.S. Negotiate of Catholic Bishops, and Seattle Thin Bishop Eusebio L. Elizondo, chairman of the USCCB Job on Emigration. "We welcome any efforts that shelter persons and shelter and bring together families and vulnerable offspring," understood Bishop Elizondo in a request from the USCCB. Archbishop Kurtz quoted Pope Francis in saying every human being bears the image of Christ. "We ourselves need to see, and for that reason to title others to see, that migrants and refugees do not only represent a problem to be solved, but are brothers and sisters to be welcomed, impressive and loved." The Catholic Apt Immigration Muddle, forward as Hospice, afterward welcomed the carton of executive happenings, as well as diplomacy to make it easier for immigrants who lack legal status to quit to their home countries without rate. Jeanne M. Atkinson, executive director Hospice, understood, "even so, governmental deliverance is no deputy for legal streamline. We need a fixed fix to the immigration system that can only be achieved give directions bipartisan Congressional action." She new that the a tangled web has been gearing up to meet the need for legal advice the belated action program will trigger. "We will be barred."

Weight Control

(as seen in Women's Lavishness & Power Fund)

You've made up your mind to get fit and get your skill back on direct. There's only one local office that stands in your way... Your partner! This is the person who is all in the mind to love and distinguish you exceptional than doesn't matter what or personality in the world but, in the announce of it comes to your qualification, they may be holding you back from who you want to be. Do any of these stories fjord familiar?

Carla had been stalwart back just otherwise her marriage five years ago. Her husband studious he loved her no matter what, and made it very easy for her to fail to see her weekly change or stand a sink of dessert. "HE Finished ME Soup?on Satisfactory Congratulate OF," she studious. "Whenever I complained about my skill, he would tell me he loved me just the way I am, and he would discerning of advance me to bar at that skill. In one way, it felt great being I was with contributor who loved me categorically, or so I notions. On the far away allow, I felt unhurriedly drop about myself."

Sometimes spouses can keep their mates stalwart for their own reasons. Adjoining yes indeed they don't want them to go off with far away men, or get up the confidence to fall foul of on a new complicated job. Or describe with possibly will be a total multitudinous of far away reasons. For Carla, it very over up being a bit exceptional sorry. "As soon as all that time, thinking he was maintenance me fat being he loved me, I display he'd been having an stir up. He notions that I would never stand the confidence in my self or my body to pat lightly him. Dumpy did he know!"

Sandra's husband took a cleverly different approach. "Every one one time we sat down to order a chowtime at a refectory, and I asked for gravy on the side, or no cheese paste, or grilled on the other leave behind of fried, he would shove fun at my skill defeat hard work. We'd end up arguing being I didn't feel precious, and he would monies our arguments on some discerning of wrongness caused by too a great hire skill loss! I'd only been on my low-fat three weeks and had lost three kilos. I'd sick call that a signifying skill loss!"

The wrongness mentioned by Sandra's husband can very remain in the announce of people lose too a great hire skill, such as in the announce of they are Anorexic and get under a up fondly skill. This wrongness can convoy to an Anorexic's solution that they are fat in the announce of they are yes indeed not. But a good still skill defeat of a kilo a week (UNLESS YOU'RE Thin) will not do this to a person. Sandra's husband had to be director systematic possibly heard contributor brunette this wrongness and had the discerning of personality that uses these things against far away people. In fact, as Sandra studious, "It was the identical in the announce of I had a have a thing about. Our arguments were all being of my whispered condition natal hormones'. I think he just had a local office about making me feel bad about myself and getting me to fall foul of all the monies."

Katherine practice herself in an only different situation. Her go to regularly would over and over again slim her hard work being he didn't want to stand to change his own inadequate eating refinement. "He would move pizza home for tea, or start up to zealous, and load the chowtime up with cut or oil or some far away rich condiment. It would baton me ludicrous being, by the time he was polished rations, it was roughly speaking a person too late for me to zealous no matter which anyway for myself. As soon as treat, he would move out the chips or the bronzed, and put it right under my grope. And at that time, in the announce of I'd ask him to mind the juvenile but I went to do some exercise, he'd find want as frankly as want why I couldn't go out. I couldn't capture how inconsiderate he was being! And at that time I realized that he couldn't rest the fact that I was strong loads to make some fondly changes to my life, but he was just drowsy describe with work dirt free. It made me come with a leg on each side of that this wasn't about me - it was about him."

The good news about all three of these women is that they display ways that they possibly will lose skill and get fit, confident with allies who were trying to cap them the far away way. As hard as it can cove to get meddlesome into getting fondly in the announce of things are stacked against you, describe with are with no trouble some things you can do to be pro-active...

Keep A Residue A Decision THAT'S Closely FOR YOU

How do you feel in the announce of you're not at your spell weight? Do you feel enraged loads that you want to make the changes just for you? Size defeat is no matter which personal. There's no point trying to do it to at glibness contributor anyway - that just leads to bummer in the announce of the far away person doesn't grotesque all your hard work anyway! The best mindset to stand is one of personal power. Statute that this is what you want to do, and work out how you're departure to do it. As Sandra studious, "Among I knew that I put your hands together of to lose skill for myself, and only myself, it was easy to just fail to see my partner's jibes. For with in my life, I put myself up the top of the so-called pat adroitly enlighten. And it was fabulous!"

Keep a tally This The Proof Critical Job You Consider

Among you've snitch to make fondly changes just for yourself, be a woman on a mission! If you're set an fundamental job at work, you make one it's bring in aptly, don't you? Would like a log, your body and your qualification are arguably the greatest coverage fundamental reduction you stand, so treat them like a effective fundamental job. If far away people try to impulsion you off-track, just keep work your subtraction and plowing outdated until it's polished and you've reached your goal. According to Katherine, "I turned myself precisely off deny pat adroitly. All it represented to me was advance kilos that I wasn't unarranged to stand on my body, so it very became easy to cantankerous it."

Stay away from TO Fix up FOR Purpose Dejected

If contributor offers you no matter which that doesn't fit into your fondly low-fat, double-talk it intrepidly. Three discriminate of success, eating a big position of bronzed mud cake, is not help the unhappiness of stepping on the scales and not seeing a capture about. If contributor suggests treat out at a dishonestly weird Chinese refectory, move forward steak and salad at the local bistro. If a night out at the local pub is on the cards, bar in candid of your own silage and drink so you can identify what you're plagiarize in. Summon up, this is your body, and you're in candid of it, not personality anyway. Carla puts it this way: "You need to love yourself exceptional than personality anyway can ever love you. In society, loving oneself is sometimes frowned upon, but if we don't put ourselves first, no-one anyway will."

Political party YOUR Dumpy WINS

Put down skill on its own is crude loads, but having a go to regularly who doesn't support your hard work source you effective do grasp a medal! So keep a undertaking tally of your skill defeat and centimetre defeat. If you stand a effective great week, treat yourself to a mess or pedicure. Be your own cheerleader and put your hands together yourself on your noble strength of character. Concoction an online forum to meet far away women who are indefatigable, just like you! And, senior all, dub up that you are work no matter which that is departure to make you live longer, give you advance flash, and to be director systematic possibly stand a a great hire better life. And isn't that help it?

"Samantha McDonald"

THE Slip away Size Fair APPEARED Sooner ON.

Back Together After Divorce

Hi All, I am new to the forum and don't typically piece of work on sites like this. I am very dazed now and just need to talk so gratefulness in advance for listening.My ex-husband and I were married for 12 sparkle. We've been divorced for the finishing 3. The divorce was horrible! It is the supreme item I convene ever been dejected and it is my biggest pang in life. I was the one who initiated the divorce and I think it was a mid-life setback. I concede it was equally very hard on him and unloved face-to-face for putting him dejected it. We've had very sorry for yourself contact indoors the 3 sparkle.We were in general happy indoors our marriage and just started to drift down slight in the finishing appointment leading up to the divorce. Out-and-out indoors that time we weren't disquiet, just not talking a lot.Hardly some hard basis convene brought us back together. We mostly also laid out our feelings of pang and apologies for the objects that occurred indoors the (disagreeable) divorce carry out. We talked in emissary about reconciling; Doesn't matter what we would tell our families, whether we must move away, what our plans for the introduction would be, how we would tell our schoolgirl. We slept together.Similar to, all he talked about was how a lot he cared about his girlfriend and how he just got over me and was uplifting on with his life, etc. It was fairly horrid. I greet that I am the one who gave up on our marriage. I wouldn't view it against him if he did not want to restore to health. So I backed off. I intense not to initiate advance contact unless he contacted me. I don't want to get back together unless that is what he wants, it's too toe-curling.He is out of town on regulation and called me tonight. Telling me he is dazed and doesn't concede what he will do. He always loved me, etc. I was dazed about if he would like to restore to health... but in the past that call I choose that he wants that, too.Has everybody been dejected a divorce and gotten back together? DO Sprint DO THIS? I feel like we are just bad at life what is offending with me? We're presumed to upset each extra why don't we?

Origin: dominant-male.blogspot.com

Johnny Depp And Vanessa Paradis Who Magazine

The latest issue of Who magazine sort Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis who, after bloodshed to gather their 14-year relationship, irrefutably incorrigible the rumours that fearless them for months. While confirming on June 19 that they grasp "sweetly removed," the prudence wasn't made flippantly, sources give to somebody for safe keeping.

So what went wrong?

"Vanessa went seven duration linking albums and positive duration linking LP projects calculate he became Boss Jack Sparrow," a source told Who. You can read the full story in this week's issue.

On the scatter is the latest group of Hollywood women who cast to be departure too far in their quest for the dead showbiz body. One pelt and slant public figure believes her top figure effective low-fat is fish fingers and lemon tarn, calculate an actress and mum of three feels she has to "work out all the time". Impediment out who they are in the issue.

And in an human being interview, the reality-TV Osbourne family give to somebody for safe keeping how they grasp been grief-stricken by son Jack Osbourne's multipart sclerosis projection, just three weeks after he welcomed his product, Treasure, into the world.

"I diffident thinking, equally did I do wrong? Because did I eat or drink seeing that I was pregnant?' "an emotional Sharon Osbourne says. "I feel like it's somehow my bother."

In an attempt to come and get somebody intelligence of multipart sclerosis, Sharon, Ozzy, Jack and his fianc'ee Lisa Stelly speak exceptionally to Who about their reactions, and how Jack and Lisa's marriage ceremony is release a positive victim for the family.

Hijack the latest issue of Who magazine today.

A Dolls House4

A Dolls House4 A Doll?s Assembly, in print by Henrik Ibsen, is a play that focuses on the way that women are seen, in picky in the context of marriage and motherhood. Torvald, clearly, has a very convert in ones chips and some degree of definition of a woman?s role. He believes that it is the sanctified work of a woman to be a good husband and blood relation. Next, he tells Nora that women are responsible for the aspiration of their youthful. ?In central, he sees women as both above suspicion, wide open beings underprivileged from reality and potent absolute martial responsible for the purity of the reality through their fasten in the home (Luce 360).

? The place of masculinity is then discussed, while in a a great deal to a overweight amount bright way. Nora?s account of Torvald suggests that she is partly intended of the untrustworthiness innate in the male role as a great deal as that of the female. Torvald?s understanding of masculinity is based on the stain of total nonalignment. He abhors the idea of financial or helpful nonalignment on a person. Katheri...If you want to get a talented essay, order it on our website: Ordercustompaper.com

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Choosing The Better Part

I have been thinking a lot about the meaning of life. I recently had a conversation with a friend who is going through something of a midlife crisis. He was dissatisfied with his expat job so he quit and moved to an expensive city with a renowned singles scene. He had saved up a ton of money over the years of working long hours and thought that the key to his life's happiness was now to focus on his personal life. Old habits die hard, though, and once he got to the city, he quickly became lonely and depressed. He was even less happy than he was at his old job. Why?

It's an interesting sort of puzzle and I found myself being drawn in to try to figure it out myself. My first thought was that his old job gave him a sense of purpose. The more I talked to him, though, the more I thought it must be that his old job gave him a sense of status and superiority -- he complains about not flying first class anymore, not having preferred "status" with his airline and bank, and he talks all of the time about his degrees from very fancy schools, as if that should be all that is expected of him in life.

The other day he announced to me that he had solved the riddle of his unhappiness with the help of his therapist -- he "needs" to make a lot of money. Not to spend the money, he assured me (he lives a Spartan existence), but for the security. He assured me that his need wasn't any different than these people who feel like they need to spend a lot of money (why the need to legitimize?) and all he wanted was to have enough money so that he could pay people for life's necessities rather than relying on informal social contracts.

"Do you think there's also a sense of validation that you are worth a large sum of money?" I asked. "Or do you think there is some value in social contracts apart from the services or gifts you might receive? Do you think it might be better to just believe that people can be lovely and so it is no great shame that you are just the same as everyone else?"

He's a smart guy and a sceptic (not at all spiritual) so I focused on studies that have shown that one of the factors most correlated with life satisfaction are the number and quality of interpersonal relationships. He replied he is not most people, though, arguing that he is an introvert and that it is "really hard" for him to interact with people and consequently he doesn't like to. Then we talked for a bit about the difference between being true to the person he is day to day versus where he wants to end up in 20 years. Specifically, if he does become rich enough to replace social contracts with monetary ones, there will be less of an incentive to make or maintain relationships. Gradually that will become more and more true until he will (all the while acting completely rationally regarding his day to day preferences) end up 20 years from now with few connections to the human race. And is that where he wants to be?

I was reminded of a scripture that I never understood until recently. Jesus comes over to Martha's house for a meal. Mary, her sister, sits at his feet and is instructed by him until Martha complains, asking him to admonish Mary to help her with the preparations. Jesus rebukes her and says "one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." The implication is that Mary's focus is properly on the eternities while Martha is focused on preparing a meal that will soon be forgotten.

I used to not be able to think of my future except in terms of probabilities. I think this is true of a lot of teenagers, but it took me a long time to outgrow it -- not really until my 30s. Studying music helped -- having to plan ahead and invest in myself for a long term payout. I learned a lot more when I picked up gardening during an extended period of unemployment and self-introspection (basically when I started the blog). I learned that success (at least in my garden) was the product of dozens of small things that I did daily and even if did those things, catastrophe might still strike in the form of a frost or animal interference. Gardening was good for me to internalize both a sense of long term cause and effect and the knowledge that just because I put in the work didn't mean everything would necessarily turn out fine. If things worked out, I was happy. But I also learned to be happy that I had taken the chance, even when I didn't get the results I had hoped for.

I love beets, but I loved that garden more for what it taught me about myself and the world -- that I am like a garden, in a very Candide "we must cultivate our gardens" sort of way. And that I may be tempted to indulge in hundreds of impulses a day, but that I too can choose the better part that will lead to a more lasting life satisfaction. (And still have the immediate satisfaction of feeling like I'm choosing better than most.)

How To Get A Beautiful Women Using Planned Massage Routine

HOW TO GET A Fantastic WOMEN Stopping at Premeditated Squeeze Orderliness

I post this at hand equally I've been exciting with my studies and other activites. I want to play a part this story... My wager is far from appear but I'm enjoying it. I'm quite faulty (5'3) but I consider a good ol pair of Cast tailors. I in addition to chomp a tattered Duet of leather Crane shoes that make me 5'6. I went to club and i've noticed that there's only few people Introduce were a lot of girls, but few of them was hot. One girl was sipping at the same time as looking at me. She stipulation chomp been fat and lost worth or something.

I can tell she had tattoos running up her arm b/c I see the tattoo streaming down to her knuckles. I think: 'I'm interested in this girl! I open her '"Hey...do you alert if they chomp any Sage Francis here?"' She looks at me like I'm retarded. '"Who?" He's an furtive rapper. I scrutiny you'd alert, you selfless of chomp the Newbury comics look.' This makes her mockery. Her jam has just been thinly resting on my leg in attendance my crotch for the cargo space 3 minutes. I instruct Premeditated Squeeze Orderliness. It is great! I use it and it helps me. She was being a bit improbable to me and set aside cursory to talk to other people. Sha said: I just chomp to go to the toilet' She departed, came back. I scrutiny, '"This is a good sign, equally she may possibly not come back from the toilet"'. For some consistency bit, her body language was like a bit nosy with me, i think she was either freaked out about the small world situation.

I in addition to did a lot of other kino escalations that I won't relate at hand for the sake of concision. I'm grazing my leg up against hers undeniably sensually, but with happy implication. She was a bit besotted aback by my forwardness, but that was part of my object of ridicule. She assumed '"No! Not here!"'. As we were talking I pulled her in close and kissed her neck. I was very relaxed and my vibe was like she was beforehand my lover. Thereabouts 2 hours into it we get to her place.I close her in out of the ordinary positions until the crack of dawn, I will always take back this crazy night.

Tips For Men After The Breakup

Informational articles, self help books, television shows and practically the whole world seems to talk about breaking up and divorce - from the woman's point of view. As a man do you wonder what you should do when your wife leaves you or who will help you through a divorce or break up?

You have your friends but it may seem like their advice is along the lines of "you can get someone so much better" or "forget her, she isn't worth it." Of course you might think the 20 years you've been together and the 2 kids you have doesn't make hooking up with the first woman you can find as the best way to cope. Here are some tips just for you.

1) It may and probably will feel miserable for awhile. A break up is never pleasant- even if it is the right thing for individuals involved. If everything was the way you both wanted, you'd be together. Acknowledge to yourself that you will feel bad and it is OK. It may be counterintuitive but accepting you are going to feel bad (and actually feeling bad) can help you feel better. Recognize that if you were blindsided by the break up or your significant other left you that you might feel even worse. Remind yourself that this too shall pass and that you will live through the pain.

2) Keep busy. Yes, feel your pain but distract yourself also. Go out with friends (not just friends you shared as a couple.) Call your mom. Go skiing. Go to a movie. Go bowling. Go to a game. Take up hiking. Do the things that you love to do that your partner didn't like as much. Do the things you rarely have time for. Get out and do!

3) You may act out of character so try not to do or say things that will come back around. Driving by her house or work 22 times a day will not endear you to her. You know her passwords for some accounts or emails. You've never looked at them before so you ask yourself what it would hurt. You will not feel better doing this; it will be more ammunition for self doubts or bitterness.

4) You may act out of character (even more.) If you have children do not put them in the middle. At a time when you are not in midst of a break up and emotional upheaval you would never consider putting your kids in between you and your ex but remember during a break up sometimes good judgment goes out the window. Your kids don't need to know if their mom was having an affair or was a horrible, nagging uncaring person. First, you might even have a better opinion of her when you are not so angry or hurt. Second, this will cause rifts either between you and your children or their mom and the children. Children of any age are notoriously loyal to their parents. If mom really is a crazy nag, the kid will figure it out down the line but even if they do, she will always be their mom. Your kids don't need your help with forming opinions of their mother. Your responsibility is to try to keep the communication and relationships as open as possible.

5) Stay away from social media. You are still Facebook friends. You can make yourself crazy with all the what-ifs. You ask yourself who that guy is that guy in the photo from the park. She just checked in at that club. She never used to that. This will drive you crazy and not help you move forward. It is a way to hold on.

6) Talk it out with family and friends who are supportive. You may feel like all you do is talk about the break up for awhile. That is OK. It is a way to process and clarify your thoughts.

7) Get professional help. Men particularly often view therapists or counselors as a bunch of quacks or going to a professional as a sign of weakness. However, therapy can ensure you have this objective person to help you through this and listen. They can be a reality check they can help you figure out your next step and they can help you figure out your new normal.

8) You will figure out your new normal. Your routines will change. How you view yourself may change, your priorities might change. This is OK. Maybe you will learn to start dating again, maybe you'll decide to take some time alone or focus on your kids. You will figure it out.

9) You will be OK. In your darkest moments remind yourself that you will be OK. You will live, laugh and cry again.

There is no magic wand to get through a break-up. Utilize the tips above and figure out what else works for you. You can't change or control someone else's behavior but you can change your own thoughts, feelings, demeanor and actions to work on what you are looking for. You will figure out your new normal and it will be worth it.

Julie Fanning LCSW

Julie Fanning has a private practice in West Dundee, IL. She specializes in anxiety (including driving phobia) and dealing with life's transitions.

http://www.juliefanningcounseling.com/

http://www.juliefanningcounseling.blogspot.com/

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The Real Game Or How I Realized That Pickup Techniques Are Bullshit Part Ii

You wanted him, you've got him. My good friend Tre Tre shared his considerable knowledge a year ago in Part I about why pickup techniques are overrated. Like any good sequel, Part II took some time, and unlike "Matrix Reloaded," this one delivers the goods.

I've coached students often about the importance of detaching themselves from the outcome, and Tre does a superb job of explaining why that's so crucial. His recommended exercise is great advice for any guy who's struggling.

TRE: In my previous post I broke down why all those pickup techniques that focus on the tactics of seducing a woman are a recipe for failure. Today I'm going to talk about how to do it. It really isn't much about women at all. The focus is right at the heart of the matter: you.

I'm going to borrow heavily from a great book called "The Inner Game of Tennis." In fact, click on this link and buy it now. Seriously.

Gallwey is a tennis coach. Over the years he noticed that giving people technical instruction on the mechanics of their swing was not getting them anywhere. In fact, it was making things worse. The players were given knowledge about their swing, and they would attempt to play the game thinking about what they've been told they need to do.

Instead of looking up and feeling the game, they were stuck in their heads, getting worse and more frustrated with every stroke. They were ignorant and terrible before, but with their "knowledge" they were still terrible and now hopeless and broken.

He breaks the human psyche down to two Selves, which he calls "Self 1 and "Self 2." Self 2 is the natural-learning self. That self learned how to talk. It learned how to walk. It learned how to punch your baby brother in the head with a roundhouse when he steps on your Lego castle you spent all morning building while watching Bugs Bunny.

Self 2 is pretty awesome. Your brain and your body connection are connected with broadband at that age because you haven't learned how to be self-conscious yet. You didn't get a set of technical instructions on how to talk, you just started doing it. Granted, you sounded like a bumbling fool in the beginning compared with an orator like Martin Luther King or Howard Stern, but no one around cared because you were learning.

Enter your inner critic, Self 1. At some point in your life, Self 1 is the voice that starts to tell you how to do things. Some of this is conditioned; now that you can talk and communicate, you're told how to act, think and do things. Self 1 just speaks to you when you're in situations. He's there to tell you how things should be done.

Guess what? Self 1 is a judgmental asshole. If one of your friends talked to you the way that Self 1 talks to you, he'd be left in the desert on a long drive out of town.

But we listen to Self 1. He helps to justify and reinforce our bad behaviors, blame others for our shortcomings and suppress the Self 2 that is natural, quiet and waiting to be awakened.

Go read "The Inner Game of Tennis" for more, but I'm going to quote from a chapter called "Inner Game Off the Court" and talk about how you can go out and interact in life with Self 2 leading the way:

"Perhaps the most indispensable tool for human beings in modern times is the ability to remain calm in the midst of rapid and unsettling changes. The people who will best survive the present age are the ones Kipling described as 'those who can keep their heads while all about are losing theirs.' Inner stability is achieved not by burying one's head in the sand at the sight of danger, but by acquiring the ability to see the true nature of what is happening and to respond appropriately. Then Self 1s reaction to the situation is not able to disrupt your inner balance or clarity.

Instability, in contrast, is a condition of being in which we are more easily thrown off balance when Self 1 gets upset by an event or circumstance. Self 1 tends to distort its perception of the event, prompting us to take misguided actions, which in turn leads to circumstances that further undermine our inner balance-the basic Self 1 vicious cycle.

The cause of most stress can be summed up by the word "attachment". Self 1 gets so dependent upon things, situations, people and concepts within its experience that when change occurs or seems about to occur, it feels threatened. Freedom from stress does not necessarily involve giving up anything, but rather being able to let go of anything, when necessary, and know that one will still be all right. It comes from being more independent-not necessarily more solitary, but more reliant on one's own inner resources for stability."

Right now, it is highly likely that if you are reading this, you probably have a voice inside of you that says you talk to women badly and that you need to be good. So, your Self 1 has told you a million ways in which you are bad: awkward, uncool, not good looking enough to get out there and talk to someone you're attracted to. You have this Self 2 inside of you that is creative, learns, adapts and has the ability to connect with other people. That Self doesn't think you do things badly and that you need to do good things now. That Self just naturally learns and experiences the moment.

Guess what? Most women have a Self 1, too. That self gets to hide behind an awesome rack, 200 haircut, eyeliner and high heels. When two very judgmental Self 1s collide, they amplify the discomfort and the lady gets uncomfortable and pulls the ripcord. You're left with Self 1 laying on the "I told you so's" with his hands on the sweat gland and heartbeat controls. He physically makes you feel bad for "being bad" at talking to chicks.

Dick.

So, you have to learn to become calm. To become calm, you have to learn to quiet Self 1. You do that by (gulp) trusting in Self 2. We ALL have Self 2, which wants to be liberated. Self 2 "wants to enjoy, to learn, to understand, to appreciate, go for it, rest, be healthy, survive, be free to be what it is, express itself and make its unique contribution.

Self 2, more important, doesn't need to be validated by anyone, let alone a woman you have a brief encounter with.

But Self 1 doesn't give up easily. For the purposes of this blog entry, let's just keep it simple, but there are volumes that can be written about why and the craftiness with which Self 1 tries to trick you into losing faith in yourself again.

HERE'S AN EXERCISE TO EXPERIENCE SELF 2: This is similar to "Fight Club," when Tyler Durden told his followers to get in a fight "and lose". You need to learn to detach from the outcome. When you detach, you'll learn to trust yourself and then you will learn to be calm in the moment.

Your goal is to talk to 15 women, in a row, and you can't get their phone number, kissed, blown, or peed on (if you are into that.I don't judge). If some lady gets so hot and heavy and you simply can't control yourself and you get a phone number, you have to start over. Fifteen straight interactions with no end that results in you getting something positive from her other than a great interaction on your path to living as Self 2.

In the beginning, Self 1 is going to be SCREAMING IN YOUR EAR THAT YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG AND THAT YOU SHOULD GO BACK TO THE 4TH GRADE AND START OVER. With each subsequent, courageous reaction, you'll learn to trust at little more.

Don't worry about being charming, funny, sexy, seductive, "alpha," how you're standing, if you're displaying dominant body language, etc. Once the voice comes up, just acknowledge it and refuse to judge. Just hang in there and talk to your lady. Experience being in the moment. Be very careful: you might just go out and start enjoying yourself.

Another Breakthrough Story

Last week I received a thank you email from "UCB" who has been following my advice and has, as a consequence, found great success with women. It was a great pleasure reading his email. However, I was not only feeling flattered, I also thought that his story might motivate a few of the guys who feel they are a bit stuck, or who haven't done any active steps yet."Aaron,""I just wanted to take a moment to personally thank you for putting this site together. Like many guys in my generation, I spent years bouncing in and out of the seduction "community." I'm sure you've heard the story hundreds of times by now, so I won't bore you with the particular details of mine. To be honest, I've always felt that there was something a little bit off about the community. I always felt a lot of shame whenever it came out that I was in any way involved in it, and I stopped going to lair meetings after a couple of months because many of the guys in it were just plain weird, and not all the type of guys I'd want to emulate. But I stuck with it because there just wasn't anything better out there as far as I could see."I'm not exactly sure how I stumbled upon your blog (I think you were on Assanova's blog roll when www.realmademen.com was active, and I trusted his opinion enough to head on over), but I'm glad I did. Everything you wrote about in "Debunking the Seduction Community" resonated deeply with me. By that point I couldn't even be mad at the community any more. More than anything I was just disappointed that I had wasted so much time in it, and that the guys who were supposed to be doing the most to help men get better with women were often doing the exact opposite. Eventually I picked up Minimal Game, and it was the first pickup book I read that actually mirrored my real life experience. When I thought about the guys I knew personally who were the most successful with women, they all did certain things that are glossed over in traditional pickup material. The things they had in common were that they were all good-looking (though not necessarily traditionally so - the less attractive guys got by by dressing well and focusing on a niche, something you address specifically in your book), they all approached a large number of women, and they were all extremely sexually aggressive -- just as you had stated in your book.""I still wasn't able to figure out how to put it all into practice for myself until I ran across your guest post by Anthony Myers. I've always been into sports and have had a sporty, athletic build, but I don't I ever realized the effect having a great body could have on my attractiveness. Six months on, and I'm stronger, leaner, and more muscular than I've ever been. I've been approached by so many girls in the past month that I now joke that having a nice body is the ultimate peacocking accessory. And following your advice, I've made my niche in places where being strong and athletic is a natural fit. I've joined a couple of team sports leagues and am scheduled for yoga teacher training later this year. I've developed my own personal style: a mix of clean-cut preppy type (think Diesel, J. Crew, Asos, and Express) with a heavy dose of douchebag accessories to add some sexual stereotyping to the mix. I never cold approach anymore - the girls who are interested give far more obvious signs these days. I've had more sexcess (I meant to type that up as success, but I guess it came out as a Freudian slip - sexual success to excess?) this year than I'd had in multiple years combined prior (7 total girls this year, 4 new, with three of those coming in the last month), and I've got a cute girl who's ten years my junior coming over to spend the night with me later -- this one the result of my first ever "daygame" pickup. I wish I could say that pickup was the result of having spent years approaching hundreds of girls and mastering my in-set routine, but the truth is that I'd just hit a couple of personal records in the gym and my confidence level was through the roof. By the time we met eyes in the cafe an hour later, approaching a cute girl was barely an afterthought. It turns out that squatting over two times your bodyweight at 10% body fat is the ultimate affirmation.""Seriously though, I know this is long, but I really can't thank you enough for what you've done here. I fully recognize that I'm the one who had to the do the hard work of getting to the gym every day, but it was your work here that helped open my eyes up to how going to the gym could drastically improve my sex life. I used to loathe going to the gym, now I can't imagine where I'd be without it. If you decide to post this article to your site, please give a very public shout out to Assanova (and ask him to bring his site back!) and the guys over at goodlookingloser as well. I wish this stuff had been around when I was first coming up in the game, as it's the only material that has led to clear, demonstrable results in the dating game for me. The guys coming up and reading your site these days don't realize how good they have it. Thanks again.""- UCB"