THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY
This a statement that originated with a Polish count by the name of Korzybsk back in 1933. When you experience the world via your senses you make an internal map of this in your brain. Because this map is shaped by your own experiences this internal map will never be the same as anyone else's. For example if I'm viewing a chess match my internal map will be much different to the one bobby Fischer forms if he watches exactly the same match. We are seeing exactly the same things but his breadth of knowledge, understanding of the game and personal experience will mean that his map will probably be nothing like mine.
We are constantly having sensorary data thrust at us. It would be impossible to absorb all the data in a meaningful way so we have to filter this data. The process of filtration is heavily influenced by our values and our beliefs. We in a sense only receive the information that our experiences, social and cultural background are attuned to letting us receive.
For example imagine you are visiting a third world country. You might be amazed at the level of poverty. Because it is so different to your own expectations and experiences you cannot help but be astonished by the level of deprivation. But imagine instead that you were born into this environment, and had never lived anywhere else. To you it would seem normal. You would probably not even notice that there was so much lack or if you did you would just accept it as being a regular part of life. If you want to communicate with someone it becomes much easier if you understand their internal map. People respond to the world according to their internal map. While their behaviour may seem strange to you, it may seem completely irrational. It is based on their internal map. Trying to understand people helps to enrich our own lives too.
One great presupposition you will want to take on board is that there is no failure only feedback. Many people allow themselves to get weighed down with what they perceive as past failures. But this is really only feedback. For example it is fact that most successful business people fail in a business venture before finally succeeding. What separates the successful business person from the unsuccessful one it to be able to take a business failure as merely feedback as a strategy this does not work in this context. By taking this information on board they are able to formulate a more successful strategy.
THE MEANING OF COMMUNICATION IS THE RESPONSE IT ELICITS
It doesn't matter what you intend when you communicate with someone. It only matters how it is received. The response that you receive from your communication is its meaning. As the communicator the responsibility of relaying your message is on you not the recipitant. For example you maybe a very physical person. And you wish to express your love to someone else and so you give them a hug. To a person who doesn't like physical contact this may not communicate a sense of love but perhaps a sense of uncomfortableness or impropriety, You cannot just say that it is their problem. That they have issues and should be more open to physical contact. The responsibility is on you to communicate your love in a way that they are open too
How do you know the right way to communicate? First think about your outcome. What is it that you want to achieve? From their work out a plan to effectively relay your message so that this outcome is achieved.
IF WHAT YOU ARE DOING ISN'T WORKING DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT
This may seem obvious but so many people aren't successful in their approach, they realise that it is not working but they keep on doing it. Look at many peoples relationships. Couples will argue constantly. They are obviously not getting the results that they would like, in this case a happy relationship. But they still continue to communicate the same way towards their partner. Realise this; it is a lot easier to change your own behaviour than it is to change someone else's. If you are not able to communicate the way you try at first. Then try a different way of communicating. How many times should you change your approach? As many times as it takes to achieve your outcome.
YOU CAN'T NOT COMMUNICATE
Even if you said nothing you will still be communicating. If you are angry with some one but you refrain from shouting your body language will still give you away. The way you hold yourself, your posture, and the tone of your voice tells people a lot more than the actual words that you use. Verbal communication is as little as 7% of the message that you convey.
INDIVIDUALS HAVE ALL THE RESOURCES THEY NEED TO ACHIEVE THEIR DESIRED OUTCOMES
By this it means that while you may not currently have the internal resources that you need to achieve your outcome. You do currently posses the internal resources to find the internal and external resources you will require to achieve your outcome.
EVERY BEHAVIOUR HAS A POSITIVE INTENT
Even if the behaviour is non productive it still has a positive intent behind it. This positive intent is called secondary gain. Take for example a gang member who commits a drive by shooting. This would seem to have no positive intent. But there is secondary gain in that he will gain acclaim and recognition amongst his peer. By identityfying their positive intent we can find more productive or beneficial ways of satisfying that intention.
THE MIND AND BODY ARE INTERLINKED AND AFFECT EACH OTHER
This is pretty simple really a healthy mind and body work together and treat each other. Each thought that you think reaches out across your body though your neurotransmitters.
MODELLING SUCCESSFUL PERFORMANCE LEADS TO EXCELLENCE
If you want to be great in a particular field and you have you can model someone else who is successful in that field and achieve the same outcomes they have.
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